It's amazing how many people ruin relationships by refusing
to open up to their partners. In
addition to attraction (be it physical, emotional, or "instinctual"),
trust is required to build lasting relationships.
One may ask, "how do we build trust?" It starts by sharing yourself with them. If you withhold who you are (that you deep
down inside where you sit alone) from the person you're in a relationship with,
why bother? How can you build something
long-term on an illusion? It's
impossible.
Honesty is always key.
You must communicate with your lover what you want and why you
want. Share your personal dogma. Not your religion, but your personal code of
ethics. This is an easy test to find out
whether or not they are worth your time.
If you are willing to compromise, ask yourself why? Are they worth it?
Unfortunately, you have to allow your partner the opportunity
to fail you. True, there is the
possibility you'll find heartbreak. But
rather than focusing on the downside, one should focus on the possible
outcome. Failure is the perfect
opportunity for a growing experience in relationships- if you allow it to
be.
Communicate with your lover, explain to them-
- WHEN they hurt you.
- WHAT they did to hurt you.
- WHY it hurt you.
- HOW they hurt you.
- HOW they can repair the damage to your trust.
If your lover doesn't respond to your heartfelt opinion
regarding their lapse in judgment, why bother?
If they don't care about you enough to consider you first, why bother?
It all starts with trust.
You have to open up in order to grow.
You have to make yourself vulnerable in order to discover learn whether
or not someone is right for you. It
makes no sense to attach oneself emotionally to someone who doesn't give a damn
about you.
